library

Just finished Twilight, and on to New Moon (thank you library!). Um, yeah, I read Twilight in a day and a half. plowin through it!! easy and entertaining!!

BUT that brings me to a new subject--how the HECK are libraries organized these days? MY goodness, am I so out of it? i walk in and feel like a complete idiot. They are by author now, yes?, and not by number. (where are the card catalogs?!) And you go to a computer and type in the book. They might be under teen, fiction, adult, they are coded by hardback, paperback, humpback ... There's a new books section too, and every sort of subcategory--adult fiction, adult non fiction, biographies, histories, stenographies (j/k), of course videos, and good gollie, why do people BUY books anymore when you can get whatever book you want (albeit in USED condition) at the library? WOW. And here in the OC, you can request a book to come to your library from another library in the county ... so if I don't want New Moon in paperback, I can make the library in Westminster (15 miles away) retrieve and deliver me a copy in hardback. (now that is a bit high maintenance, is it not?) Who pays for these deliveries?? just wondering?? I'm positive that many of my blogger friends who live in the country don't have this luxury at all!! So I just want you to know I don't take it for granted! It's AWESOME to have access to all these great books and magazines and resources. But I am a little .... what's the word ... googley-eyed over it? It seems over the top!! When I request New Moon to be put on hold and she says, "do you want it in paperback or hardback?" that sounds incredulous ... and then to be followed with, "do you want to have it delivered from a specific library, or first available?" my jaw almost hit the floor!! Good gracious, FLY IT IN why don't ya?! LOL!

twilight

Did you read the books? Do you like the movies? I'm seriously thinking of picking them up. The thing is, when a book series is THAT popular, it is influencing THAT many people, i sort of feel like I should read them, to stay up with the culture ... at least so that I can engage in the conversation.

BTW, this brings up, I guess, a thought: so i mentioned before how small my world is. And when I get around vball people and they are talking, sometimes I am SO out of it. I don't mind it, but it strikes me that in order for connect with people, it helps to have a little pulse on the times, simply so I can join the conversation.

for example, the TV show "Wipeout." never watched it. didn't even know what it was. And they are talking about it--different obstacles and things and I'm discreetly thinking, "what is this show Wipeout?" so what do i do? i go home and ti-vo Wipeout. :) does that make me a follower? or does that make me desperate? or does it make me wise?

Or ... Twilight. Enough people are talking about it that I almost feel like i SHOULD read it, simply to know what they talking about. last night on Jeopardy (cause that's what us 'old married folk' watch, there was a whole category on Twilight!) And of course, Harry Potter ... I read somewhere that over 50% of Gen iY has read the Harry Potter series. Gen iY has been shaped by Harry Potter the way Gen X has been by Friends and Seinfeld. FIFTY percent!! That's CRAZY.

And now that you mention it, the whole reason I joined FB was because EVERYONE was talking about it and EVERYONE was on it. Am I a band-wagon member? yeah, sure. And there's no shame in that. have I been glad I joined? YES, definitely.

And I started my blog because I had friends who blogged, and I loved reading their thoughts and reflections. my point, I'm not going to abstain from these things out of some strange principle or fear of following. if i'm interested in it enough, then i'll give it a whirl. Why not?

To 'join in the conversation' is one reason (of many) that I watch sports. Sports is a universal conversation. You can talk about it with the checker at the grocery store, with your neighbor, with the gas station attendant, etc. And the news too. Another potential connecting point with the "real" world. (though careful how political you get--that's likely a dividing point!)

Anyway, i know it might sound idealistic, but I want to be a person able to engage with the real world. and in order to do that, i have to enter into the conversation. I think some people might disagree with me on this principle, but I feel fairly confident Twilight is another way I can connect with people and become their friend and maybe through that earn some credibility to speak into their lives about bigger, spiritual things.

GRRRR

Its been over a year that I haven't had a 'real' marketing freelance job. It's a very strange feeling, and I've been afraid to tap into it. Then this week it came out, gibbery and messy.

Background: when I worked, my last official job for an organization (not for myself) I was a marketing director for a non-profit. Then I went freelance for a few different communications firms. I took a few months off when D arrived, and then the economy turned, and voila, i've been jobless.

Now, I haven't really solicited work or tried to get jobs, either. but, i digress ...

This week I get an email from the person I HIRED to replace me at the above job. And he wants me to TRANSCRIBE a few documents. TRANSCRIBE.

OUCH.

I used to manage a revenue stream of 5.6 million dollars. And now he wants me to TRANSCRIBE?!

I feel very very small. next year, he'll probably ask me to vacuum their carpets. GRRRR.

laundry system

Here's my laundry system, and I'd love for any suggestions for how to improve it. I can say that this is the best system yet (but that might change as the laundry increases). Keep in mind I have a two-story house, and a laundry chute, and all the bedrooms are upstairs and my laundry is downstairs.

Kids toss dirty clothes in laundry chute. (they are the only ones to use it). Curtis and I have hampers that are sorted by colors and white. When a hamper is full, we bring it downstairs to the laundry room.

I usually start the wash on Saturday nights and finish on Sunday, and then do another load or two on Thursday. By doing my laundry twice a week, I find I have less to do and can get it done faster. BUT I don't feel like I'm doing it every day, which is nice.

I have three laundry baskets for hauling.

So Sat night I will start a load or two and as I advance them, I move the clean clothes to the couch, and I fold while watching football or a Sat night movie. If they are on the couch I am very quick to fold them because I hate a messy living area. After folding, (now THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART) I immediately put the clothes into the laundry baskets and carry them upstairs to my bed (which is made). I put the clothes on my bed in sorted piles. The children are responsible for putting away their own clothes. Now, that means I have to be ok with their drawers being a chaotic mess. But even D puts his clothes in his drawers (with a little direction from me).

The benefit of putting all the folded clean clothes on my bed is that I cannot CLIMB into my bed until the clothes are put away. Motivation!!

Z has a boatload of hanging clothes, as do C & me. I drape the hanging clothes on the laundry baskets and make sure to carry them upstairs with the rest of the clothes. I have Z and R bring me hangers and I put them on the hanger and they hang them in their closets (with the help of a step stool!) With all of us working together, clothes can be put away in less than 20 minutes, albeit, not as nicely folded as they once were, but alas, the kiddos are learning. And I don't feel like such a slave.

bananas

I really don't like bananas. Not at all. But I hear that they're good for me. I've been cramping a bit here and there (mostly calves), and I have several friends who are vball coaches and athletes who are telling me to add a banana to my diet each day. So, I need your advice. How can I sneak a banana into my diet each day?

Ideas:

1. smoothies (YUM)

2. nutella (YUM)

3. on oatmeal?

4. YOGURTLAND (yum yum yum!)

What else?? I need more ideas. Why do they have to be so pastey? BLECH.

You really should read: The 6 Awesome Health Benefits of Bananas. Once you read it, you'll be convinced too. (I am particularly interested in bananas because of their potassium, mood enhancing abilities, sleep help, they are high in vitamin B6 and fiber, AND they help build your immune system (which i need for a few different reasons apart from simply not wanting to get sick).

So, dear banana, since we've only met a few times, let me introduce myself. My name is Karen. I think you are pastey and bland and smushy. But i hope we can be friends. Maybe in time I might like you? I'm going to try to look past my first impressions. Be nice to me, ok?

Half Marathon

OH my goodness, I did it. And at this moment, I'm very very scared. :) But I signed up for my first race, a half marathon in Huntington Beach on Superbowl Sunday (Feb 7). WOOT WOOT. My friend Dai said she'd run with me, and I NEED her cause I have no idea what I'm doing. :) It is a pretty easy course, I've read. Here's the link: Surf City USA Marathon. I should have plenty of time to train, since I'm not completely starting from scratch. And hey, maybe this will keep me from putting on the holiday 10? Anyone want to join us? There's a 5K with it too! Let me know!!

on race--white and milk chocolate

I haven't spoken much lately on D and any new adoption revelations. So ... :)

Let me start by saying this: just because I am raising a black son, doesn't mean I know how to parent and address hard questions of race and diversity and trans-racial families. I am learning too. I am white. I don't know what it is like to be black in this world. I don't know what D will feel being in a white family as he gets older. I don't have an inside scoop into any of these things. i just have my perspective and how I feel as D's mother, and i've only been at this a little over a year.

I have had a *few* strange comments in the past few months. You'll notice that you can no longer post 'anonymous' comments on my blog. That's because two not-so-nice, cowardly people chose to anonymously comment with some negative adoption links and statements. When it happened I really was not that upset ... just more flabbergasted by how lame a tiny, tiny percent of the population can be. (these people are probably the ones that leave mean notes on other's cars too!)

Another thing that happened is an odd conversation just a few weeks ago with a friend, I will call her Ruth. Ruth was introducing me to her brother, Peter.

Ruth (to me): This is my brother Peter. Peter is married and sells missile defense systems to third world countries.
Me: WOW! Peter, so nice to meet you!
Ruth (to Peter): This is my friend Karen. Karen is married. She has three kids and one of them is black.
Peter: WOW! Karen, so nice to meet you!

I told my friend that she was very strange just then, and she offered, "i was trying to share the most interesting things about you and Peter, and it just came out." I frowned. First, I am EXTRAORDINARILY interesting!! Good heavens. You want a dynamic, engaging, mysterious, INTERESTING person, I AM such a girl. :) and it has nothing to do with my black son. LOL!

But see, this is where I have to extend some grace, because, rather than be offended by how it came out, what Ruth was really saying is, "I think it's cool you adopted from Ethiopia." That's what she meant, I know it. Not that she's studying the color of my son's skin, or that I am uninteresting apart from D's adoption. I can imagine, because Ruth is someone I know semi-well, what she meant.

I know *some* people might be thinking things about race when they see our family, or see me with D. And instead of pretending it is not there or avoiding mention of it for fear of how it might sound, I want to keep it out in the open. My son has chocolate brown skin, and that is a part of him, but it is certainly not what defines him.

When Ruth singled out my son's blackness, what I felt seconds later was how quickly she had identified him only by the color of his skin. That was the unique thing about me (that I have a black son) and the unique thing about D (that he is black), and it was all compared to selling missile defense systems to impoverished countries. And it occurred to me how prevalent my son's skin color was to her. Throughout D's life, i expect, there will be times when the color of his skin is going to be the first thing other's see--whatever they might think of it. It makes me sad. It DOES give him a hurdle to overcome.

Of COURSE i have somewhat set D up for this. This is something you don't really think about (as much) going into international adoption. D IS the only one that looks different in our family. He is the only one who came to our family through adoption. And his personality is also rather different from the rest of the family. Of COURSE he stands out. I am extremely sensitive to D feeling excluded in our family, and to our overcompensating or perceiving that he might feel excluded. You don't want to draw too much attention to his skin color and his adoption, but you don't want to give too little attention either. yet, he's not white, and we do live in a world where *some* people still judge and label and lump and discriminate because of race.

I really appreciated a good friend of mine from growing up ... a while back when we were talking she asked me about D and she said something like, "So, I want to ask you about something, and I don't know how to ask it, but how do you feel about his being black? is that what you call him? i don't want to say the wrong thing." I just loved it!! So candid and real. I don't want to tip-toe around his race, because that is a part of D! I call him my son. As far as his race, he is Ethiopian. And yes, his skin is black. BUT, please, don't introduce him as 'the black one.' est no bueno. He is MORE than that, just like you don't want to be 'the fat one,' 'the middle child,' 'the dumb one,' 'the accident mom and dad didn't plan for,' etc.

i live in a hole and U2

HAHAHA! No but seriously, sometimes it feels that way!! :) My world is very small (as is the case with most SAHMs). How much I reach outside my tiny box is largely up to me and my energy level. :)

We went to the U2 concert at the Rose Bowl this past weekend. (Can I just say the concert was INCREDIBLE!) I'll link to youtube at the end of the post so you can watch a bit (fast forward the first 5 minutes to get to the good stuff). But as I'm standing on the floor watching all the Gen Xers around me, observing them and listening to good music from a good band, I realized how GREAT and SMALL my life is. I don't have many acquaintences, but the friends I have are stellar. My short people keep me in check, along with my fantastically honorable husband.

I am reminded of this at volleyball sometimes too, which many friends there (if you'd call them 'friends' (we don't talk outside of vball)) live so differently than me. Most aren't married and most aren't parents. Most don't know Jesus either. It is actually the first non-Christian friends I've had since high school, interestingly enough.

Watching the concert-goers and volleyball players, I see how this life I lead refines me. And I'm glad for it. I'm surrounded by people who make me better, who point me to God and expect good things of me. The challenge is how to embrace this hole (which sometimes feels like wearing a tight pair of cute jeans), and still engage and love the world around me, many with whom I have so little in common.